Stress Reading

Stress eating? Pretty common. I do it too.

Stress exercising? Normal.

But stress reading? Never thought it happened to me.

Until it did.

It didn’t start off that way. I just stumbled upon a fun romantic comedy novel which turned out to be a series and I was excited to read more of it. So I did. At first it was too fun to stop. I plowed through 4 books before my brain was finally satiated with its hunger. I didn’t realize I missed reading so much. One series turned to two. Since I was enjoying the romantic comedies, I looked for similar ones, and I did (obviously). Then I had a couple tests coming up but instead of putting the books on hold I just continued with the series. If I finished a book, I’d put it down, make a mental note on how much I liked it, and give myself a minute. At this point, my responsibilities (as a student which is to study) would start floating in my head. I had other responsibilities too, which included but was not limited to taking care of my body, staying in contact with my family and friends, and cleaning my room. I’d give it a minute, and then opened up the next book in the series. It was easy. All I had to do was just pull up the next book on the series. I thought, it’d be okay. There was only one book left in the series. I’ll finish that and then when I have nothing to do, I’ll just start studying then.

I did not start studying then. Instead, I looked for more books to read on GoodReads. And I did. I was halfway through another series (I had now turned to paranormal (? supernatural?) romance which was heavy on the things that go bump in the night and less on the romance. Side note: I was slowly but surely going into the romance section which was something younger me would be repulsed by. Younger me did not see this coming. I went in ashamed of myself, and now I actually enjoy it, so younger me can suck it and go find something else to annoy.) when the test crept up on me. I actually waited until the day before the test ‘stress-reading’ to actually open up my notes and go through some past years as revision. The test itself sucked. It wasn’t too bad, but it was awful for my standards. Not to mention the sleep depravation caused by reading and procrastination.

So yeah. Hopefully it does not become a thing. I need sleep more than I need books. If I can’t make myself study, I should at least sleep the stress away. I’m working on it. I should have a schedule. Or to-do lists. And exams are coming up. Here’s to actually getting my butt into gear and hitting the books.

Best wishes and luck to whatever you are doing,

Love,

Charley.

The evil scientist trope, why it’s doing real world damage to scientists, and why authors need to stop.

I may be a book blogger by night, but by day I spend my time as a scientist, specifically a tumour immunologist. You may assume that due to my vocation, scientific inaccuracies in books would drive…

Source: The evil scientist trope, why it’s doing real world damage to scientists, and why authors need to stop.

Marianas Trench

If you don’t know what that is, I will now save you the time from Googling it. The Mariana (with NO s) Trench is the deepest parts of the ocean. MarianaS Trench is a Canadian band who I love very, very much. Please check them out.

I found them a couple years ago with their album Masterpiece Theater which is one of the greatest albums I’ve ever had the pleasure of listening to. Disclaimer: I am not a die hard fan. I don’t follow them constantly or have a news feed dedicated entirely to them. I just enjoy their music. So I went back to see if they had any new music. And they did. They have outdone themselves with Astoria just last year. I don’t know if it’s because I just miss Josh’s (the frontman) voice or their style of music or maybe I’ve just gotten sick of the mainstream songs lately but that album has literally enchanted me. And did I mention they have acoustic versions? So I dug a little deeper and found out more about them and the album.

 

Some things happened and life was shit for a while. But they picked themselves back up. And here I am being a whiny, hormonal little shit moping about these past few days.

So check out some of their songs:

 

 

If you caught that one reference, it’s because of this:

 

Have I mentioned the acoustics yet?

 

Please take the time to appreciate them.

Love,

Char.

the start of something new.

So I came to New Zealand to study. It’s been about two week since I got here, and my first week of classes has just ended. Here I am. So far so good, as one can be. I made some new friends, and I like them all. I’m not a party-going person, and I still don’t go to parties, and none of my friends party, because most of them are 18. I am a 20 year old in room full of 18 year olds. I feel old. There’s some music event going on at the bar on nearby, and it’s supposed to last two more hours. My internal alarm clock has adjusted itself already, and I am now sleepy. Sleepy at 12 am. That’s a thing now. And I wake up at 8 am every day. It’s a real thing, people, this is not a drill. I have now started a healthy lifestyle (sleeping-wise. I’m still working on the other things). 

I introduced myself as ‘Charley’, and not my real Chinese name out of convenience, but I still feel awkward about it, because I do not want to lose my inner Cina ppl. So I’ll probably start watching more Taiwan dramas just to keep my Cina in check. Already miss my family and starting to miss my friends, sigh.

Studies are fine, but it could be because I already have a (rusty) foundation in chemistry and biology, or also because it is only the first week, and the first few lectures are about introductions and safety procedures. Hopefully things go better. I’m going to watch some shows and brush my teeth and fall asleep. Tomorrow I’m going to the mall with my friends. I made friends 😀

Goodnight peeps,

Love,

Char.

New Year, new me.

I went to look at my old resolutions, and while they seemed doable, I didn’t do them. So there you have it. I am a lazy piece of shit. So this year, I’m going to keep it simple. We’re going to do resolutions that are as simple AF.

1. only  buy things you will use. or also conversely, USE THE THINGS YOU BUY.
2. also, stop buying so much black. opt for white or colored stuff instead.
3. stay in touch with your friends and family. This will prove to be a challenge even without going abroad.
4. stop guilt-reading. read what makes you happy. If you don’t like it anymore, stop. If you want to reread an old book 50 times, do it. but don’t get lazy. This year’s GoodReads aim: 50 books.
5. write more. write anything. just write.
6. take at least one photo a week. be it me, people, things, dogs, cats, ice cream etc.
7. if I do buy books on impulse, you better damn well read it. money doesn’t grow on trees.
8. stop saying no. try out for clubs, join sports, die trying, but JUST DO IT.
9. save money pls. Goal: to go to DisneyWorld with my best emal friend.

I think that’s all I have for this year. 1 & 2 seem like the same thing, but eh. They all seem doable. I’ll have to motivate myself and come back to it at the end of the year, but I hope at least I’ll have crossed out half of them.

Well, I hope you guys had a great 2015 as well. Here’s to a new year, and a new you.

Love,

Char.

Letters

I write letters now. Yep. That’s me. A writer.
Just kidding.
I bought these from Daiso yesterday with a friend and if I don’t put it to good use I’m not allowing myself to buy cute shit anymore. Writing is hard. I have no idea what to write. We already have the internet. If I wanted to say something I can just send a message online. Instantly. What can I say on paper that I can’t say online?
I guess I can send stuff, hence the paper cranes.
Oh well.
I’m going to Taiwan on Saturday. I might even post some stupid picture that doesn’t have anything to do with anything. Oh yes, and I went to the big bad wolf book fair. And you guessed it, I bought a Tom of books. I’m going to New Zealand and I still went and bought them. Yep. I’ll put in a picture when I finish tackling any one of the books. Yes, I am reading one of them now. Do not judge me.
Love,
Charley.

Update.

Hey.

I’m going to give the Aussies one more week. Then it’s time to get serious.

On veganing, I’ve decided to still eat at least a little meat. It’s not like I’m preparing my own completely vegan foods all the time. Plus, I love my mom’s cookings. And seafood tofu is still too delicious to give up. My only excuse is that I’m not eating that every single day. But so far, it’s been pretty good. I still have one last wrap to make but I’m still too lazy to peel my own apples. Pathetic, I know. But overall, I’m pretty okay. Trying to balance out the nutrients is important, and it’s not like I don’t have the option of meat. I’m just trying to find alternatives. It’s not like I’m anti-meat. I’d love for humans to get a little higher on the tropic scales but alas, we are slaves to technology and frankly we are so lazy we don’t even have the skills to revert back to nothing. And we don’t need to. So there’s that.

On my job, it’s doing okay. I’m having fun. Mostly. Today I left early because there was nothing much left to do but there was one last kid but he was independent but I still felt bad for leaving earlier than him. Not bad enough to stay, but ykno. I stayed with him halfway through his session and left. I gave him some candy as an apology, so that’s gotta count for something right? Now the other kids are starting to get annoying, but I know I should take that as the kids finally warming up to me. Or maybe I’m just being too lenient. Candy is a good way to bribe them but I shouldn’t spoil them with too much candy or their parents will be mad. C’est la vie, I guess.

I don’t think my skin is getting any better. I need a better moisturizer. And learn to control my itching.

I’m weirded out by my hair ever since I cut it to just below shoulder length. I have to blow dry it or it will curl in the wrong places, which is fine but I have a job so I have to blow dry it properly. Drying it all the time is really annoying. I not like it. I’m still wondering if I want a blue streak. I mean I do, obviously, but I’m still thinking if I really am going to.

That’s all that I can think of. Well, I’ll see you around, I guess.

Love,

Char.

Veganism.

I’ve been thinking about going vegan. Actually, I kind of already am. It’s just the execution that I have a problem with. It all started with eating animals, which made me feel kind of bad that they were raised just to be killed, but the feeling was overpowered over the delicious taste of meat. Granted, meat does taste good, or did anyway.

DISCLAIMER: DO NOT GO VEGAN JUST BECAUSE YOU FEEL BAD ABOUT IT. If you have a medical condition or cannot obtain proper nutrition from a vegan diet, IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT. If you can’t go vegan for any other reason eg money or culture(?) in my case, you DO NOT HAVE TO. And to other vegans, I don’t know why everyone likes to force people to do things, but you can’t guilt people into going vegan. It only annoys the other party and make them want to eat more meat out of spite. Please, guys, spread love, not hate. You can’t just look at people eating meat and call them the devil or whatever. I also really don’t get it when vegans go to MEAT CONVENTIONS to protest. Dude, you’re not helping anyone, you’re embarrassing yourselves. They will not have an epiphany and ‘convert’ to veganism. Please, do not force anyone to go vegan. And please know that this is your own choice.

To know what spurred on my decision, you need to Google earthlings. The documentary is where you want to go. But before you actually click into the link, please note that the footage is extremely graphic. The resolution is up to par as it was filmed in 2005, but you don’t need to see this in high definition. Trust me. I watched it. All 90-ish minutes of it. You can always say that if you don’t want to put yourself through the pain, then you don’t have to, but as it played on, I felt like if I turned away from it then it defeated the purpose of watching it. Also, it’s not just about the meat industry. Oh, no. If you have decided to watch it, I applaud you, and don’t eat anything when watching. Be prepared for a lot of pain.

Right. So the meat industry is one of the main factors in causing the world’s problems. Antibiotics in the food have been leading up to super-microorganisms, which are destroying ecosystems. Animal welfare is commercial factory farms are disgustingly terrible. We, not they, are responsible for this. I assume you are a human being if you are reading this. I can’t keep saying ‘they’ anymore, because that’s pushing away the blame. Granted, I didn’t know anything before and all that but I know now and I can’t just keep pushing this onto someone else. Nothing will change that way.

DISCLAIMER: Not all farms treat their livestock that way. Please do not assume that every farm out there treat their animals abysmally. You can look for eggs that come from free-range hens which means that the hens aren’t cooped up in cages all day and get to do chicken things like scratching the dirt and finding worms. As for other meats you can look for certain labels that say ‘free-range’ or ‘organic’. More information in this link.

And it’s not like you can’t eat meat, just be informed you know? Know your foods, and where they came from. So yeah. That’s just my take on this. Also, it’s not like I’m not eating meat at all right now. I’m seriously cutting down, yes, but I can’t quite completely stop yet, because of nutrition and also because of how my family is. Generally there’s a meat to vegetable ratio of 2:1. And I’m not too sure my parents will be understanding about it, so until I can properly fend for myself and make sure I can make nutritionally balanced vegan meals, I’m still going to eat meat every now and then (when my mother tells me to so she sees that I did take a piece).

Alright,

Love,

Charley 🙂

Hello again. I haven’t been the most active writer, but recently I have been given the push that I needed. A bunch of things happened since my last update. Okay, that was March/April. I’ll just do a really brief summary of my timeline thus far.

May/June- Finals. Lots of studying and slacking and panicking. I read some new favourites during this time: The Throne of Glass series by Sarah J Maas. More on that later.

July- Slacking. Lots of relaxing. I went on a class trip with my classmates to Penang. It was really fun, and my first time doing so, I enjoyed myself a lot. More outings and running around, but mostly slacking and finally chilling enough to read. Oh yes, I read the Mortal Instruments series. And the prequel-trilogy, the Infernal Devices. More on that later as well.

August- Mostly staying at home, and well, wasting my time. Just what I wanted right? Well, yeah. I know I promised to do the once a week thing, and I will be writing again, I promise. I hope. Well, nothing much this month so far. I got my results, which were satisfactory, and I’m happy with it. It was better than I expected, anyway. Oh yeah, and one of my best friends have just left for America to continue her studies, so that’s sad.

And quite recently, a few things happened which have thrown me so off guard I just want to run and hide and never look back. I’m a coward like that. I like to run away from things. When the going gets tough, the tough gets going. I’m not tough, but I get going anyway. I guess writing is a way of running, since all I do is ramble on and on without coming to a conclusion. But at least I feel better after that. Or at least, I’m hoping to feel better after this.

The first: some things have happened between friends and this has put me in a difficult situation. No one pushed me into it, but that does not make me feel any better about it, since I care about them both and I want to help. But, this is really weighing down on me and as always, if I don’t have to, I won’t do anything about it. At this point, I don’t have to. But there’s something or someone in the back of my head that keeps nagging at me to try to help. The thing is, I lose my nerve easily. Even if I do decide to help, I might not pull through. So there’s that.

The second: feelings. Specifically: other people’s feelings. It has come to my attention that someone has romantic feelings for me and I do not like it, because I do not feel the same way. It was … friendly, at first. So of course, being as dense as I was, I didn’t see it. But eventually, I started to see it. And that made me uncomfortable, so I stopped talking to unsaid person and … just stopped. Yeah. I really hoped that unsaid person, um, let’s call him … Abe. Yeah. I hoped Abe would get the message, but he didn’t and I am now feeling uncomfortable with the situation. I am a non-confrontational person. I do not like conflict. If there is a problem, I would not like to be there. I am now the problem, and the situation. There is no way out because I am not the third party. I am the first. And I am at a loss for what to do. I usually have a friend to talk to about this. But that friend has recently left me to study on another continent, and she’s settling in so I don’t want to disturb her about some boy problem. I’m not sure if I want to talk to anyone else about it yet, either. I might, eventually.

The third: university. Ugh. It’s hard, but I do bit by bit every few days or so, and so far I actually have been making progress, so that’s good. I have two unis in mind and I haven’t submitted any applications yet, because I want to contact some agents first, and I have yet to do so. I should probably get on that. And find another uni just for backup, in case I can’t get in any. Right. Yeah.

~

I think that covers it all, so far. I’m sorry for being a lazy piece of nutcracker, and I’ll be back soon.

I also realize that this all seems depressing. It’s not, hahaha. I have many happy memories also. Speaking of memories, I “accidentally” reset my phone, so I have lost half a year of my life in photos. Great. Yeah, that’s sad. (It’s not, I promise.)

Love,

Charley.

Yes, Homosexuality Absolutely is A Choice

john pavlovitz

Confession time.

To all of my Christian brothers and sisters who insist that homosexuality is a choice, I need to break down and finally admit something: I agree with you.

I believe that it absolutely is a choice too, only not in the way that you may have meant.

But I guess that’s largely the crux of the problem we have here. I think you use your terms too loosely without really thinking them through. When you say quite matter-of-factly that homosexualityis a choice, I’m not sure you really know in that moment, just what you mean by “homosexuality”.

Far too often Christian, when you make the statement that being gay is a sin, what you’re really doing without realizing it is reducing all LGBT people down to a sex act; as if that alone defines sexuality.

You’re denying any emotional component in their lives; any capacity to feel real love or show genuine affection toward someone…

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