Here’s something a little personal and weird: I have ‘moments’. Not like, I have moments when I’m weird. Let me explain. You know sometimes when you’re chilling with your family and/or friends? So sometimes I get nice times like that, when everyone is just enjoying themselves and we’re all happy. And I kind of just take a step back in my head and just relish the moment. Alternatively, I could engage in the fun stuff myself to create more happy times, but this is how I do. Am I the only one who does this?

I met up with a friend I hadn’t seen in a long time and we had dinner together. And while we were talking, she mentioned that I had changed. Since we were friends from primary school all through secondary school, she probably had a lot of time to observe me. And I asked, how so? She told me I was more engaging now. I talked more. That I wasn’t so afraid to speak anymore. This surprised me. I didn’t realize I seemed that way. I guess back then I was more concerned about the people around me than myself. A prime example would be me not fussing over my skin and fussing over someone with a runny nose. That, is stupid. I realized it as I typed it. It’s true though, and I’m pretty stupid for not prioritizing my own well-being.

Right this is going off topic but I should put this somewhere just to remind myself every now and then.

Charley, please remember that even though you don’t really care about your own skin, your family does. It hurts them to see it like that. If you don’t want them to talk, just take care of it yourself. Also it’s quite unsightly. Just because you can’t see it doesn’t mean it’s not there. Please, take better care of your own skin. You’re 19 now. Your first responsibility is to your own body.

Okay, so anyway, I just wanted to let that out somewhere. Back to the topic. Right, so I changed, and I’ve come to realize that’s a good thing. People don’t know what you’re thinking. They only see what you’re doing. You act skittish, they think skittish. You act confident, they think confident. I’ve got my college friends to thank for that. They’re really different from my school friends. And while I still love my school friends, there’s a fresh perspective from my college friends that I’m pretty happy about.

Here I am, taking another ‘moment’. It’s weird, right? Eh.



EDIT 20/12/2015: Sidenote, happy 100th post. lol okay


Author: charlinosaur

you don't need to know.

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