conflicts and perspective.

Recently someone I care about was admitted into the hospital for reasons I will not disclose (there were however no crimes involved, thank the gods) and I got the call asking me to visit when I was watching ANTM with one of the people I am lucky to call a best friend. I obviously was shocked and worried but couldn’t do anything about that so I didn’t go. What I did was ask said friend of mine to come with me to which she blatantly replied, “No. I hate her. I mean, not enough to wish she’d die or anything, but yeah.” For a second I was speechless. Like, what? Why would you even hate her? To which she reminded me of her not so delightful encounter with said person involving some kind of disciplinary action. And I was like, oh. It sprouted guilt inside me. One, for forgetting that she went through that, and two, for asking her to visit a person who caused her that much pain in her pre-teen years. Of course, she said she was fine with it. It didn’t have anything to do with her, after all. Why should she care? It had nothing to do with her. It didn’t. I was the one who made things awkward. I felt guilty for being so close with someone she hated.

Therein lies my problem, ladies and gentlemen. I have a problem with “keeping it real”. I get sidetracked easily. I follow into footsteps blindly and when I snap out of it I’m halfway into the woods. Yes, I have a problem with keeping myself positive but that’s a story for another time.

Right. The person I care about, is a teacher. She’s helped me a lot not even actually helping me (I like to observe my friends more than talk when this kind of gathering happens) and she’s shown me so much kindness one can be. She’s quite active in a few charities (mainly orphanages) and I’ve been helping in quite a few, really. And it’s easy to assume someone’s kind from the things that you see. I’m not saying she’s some kind of serial killer on the inside or something. I’m really not. It’s just that when you see someone being so kind and helpful and, just so much like a normal person you tend to forget what they’re capable of. Or I guess, what we’re all capable of. I won’t really get into detail about what happened between them because I would like to maintain their privacy even though I seem to have no problems with giving up my own. Basically, she was a discipline teacher and there was this ongoing tension between two students and something happened and she (being the teacher) accused her of something she did not do and refused to believe otherwise until she (my friend) cracked.

Nobody wants to be cracked by force. If I was in that position, I would probably hate that person too. I don’t like conflict. (Not that there is any at the moment, I’m just making this up in my own head) It’s just hard when you have to juggle being friends with two people who have history (and not the good kind). And it’s even harder if you know both people and have become really close with both people in different ways (well, not really for the teacher but yeah).

I’m not asking you guys to just suspect everyone you trust of being some other person. I’m just saying that there’s two sides to the coin.

This has been a PSA?

Well, keep it real guys.

Love,

the Pocket Monster.

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Author: charlinosaur

you don't need to know.

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