I feel like I’ve had a rough day. One of my best friends ditched me, I felt exhausted when I came home, and my brother got yelled at by my father, I don’t know. It’s really easy to see the bad parts about everything. But I had good times today, too. Like, I got some Mcd’s before I came home, I enjoyed my post-dinner/supper thing, I had a Skype call with a friend which was fun and entertaining. Then the shitstorm hit.

My dad started yelling. I had no idea it was going on, of course. I didn’t intervene, because he was the father, and he was disciplining his son. I thought it best to stay back, because it wasn’t my fight. And then I heard the sounds. I didn’t know if he was … yeah but I was even more afraid of stepping up, because I didn’t know what to do and I didn’t know what effects I would cause by stepping in. So I cringed through it, like my way of suffering with him, or something, I don’t know. I’m still very confused and upset about it.

And then my sister(s) wanted to have a talk with him (my brother, not my dad), and so we went, all of us together. I’m not one to show my feelings easily. I don’t like the vulnerability. And obviously, I could understand that he of all people would not want that as well. So it was very clear to me, he didn’t want to talk about it. But dear old sister wanted to push it, so I let her, for a while. She pushed some more and I didn’t want it, so I stopped her. I told her it was enough, what’s done was done already. And then I let it die out, because I couldn’t really find the words to explain myself. But she took offense to it, and I don’t know. And all of this is just between us siblings.

What about our dad? Our mom, maybe? I don’t know. I don’t like this feeling. I know this is because of a lack of communication. And several other factors.

I don’t know what to do. Or maybe I do, but I can’t bring myself to do it. I don’t know so many things.



Author: charlinosaur

you don't need to know.

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