Late night confessions-Numero Uno

I was watching lots of videos today, and the one that caught my attention the most was Louis Cole ( … well, and also this ( it was really fun and creative and I enjoyed it a lot. They did a wonderful job at it. 🙂

Oh, yes, and also a lot of Draw My Life videos

Anyway, Louis’s videos (and the Draw My Lifes) really got me thinking about what I wanted to do with my life. I mean, it wasn’t very special or anything, but I wanted to go out there and really DO something, you know, that I could be proud of. That I could look back on and say, ‘Yeah, those were some good times.’ To have some fun stories to tell my grandchildren. To have MEMORIES.

Oh cheese, I don’t know.

I’m scared, though. I want to have all those things but I’m scared to reach out and grab them (yes, I am a pussycat.) [there’s nothing wrong with cats, though, just sayin’.] I mean, what if I end up homeless or jobless or live on the streets or something. I can barely cook and clean for myself, for crying out loud.

Yes, yes, the most obvious answer is to change that. To start anew. To DO something about it. To learn how to clean and cook for myself. To learn how to deal with taxes and everything so when I move out I won’t rip my hair out figuring these things out. I really do want to move out, by the way.

Back to the subject, my future is mine to deal with. Not anybody else’s. That’s what I’m trying to say here, I guess. I feel suffocated in my own house, my own family, for Pete’s sake. I don’t want to make the same mistakes people did. I want to be my own person. I want to BE someone. I want to live. I  … want to get a video camera and start recording the pointless bits of my life so I can have something to remember, even if it isn’t much, really.

Well, that’s all I suppose.

Feeling sleepy and moody,



the Pocket Monster.

[I’ve been feeling pretty pocket-sized lately, and I think I’m a monster sometimes, but the name stuck mostly because I love Pokemon. :3]


Author: charlinosaur

you don't need to know.

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